Cats

Cats don't celebrate New Year's Eve
Cats don't read stories about Adam and Eve
Cats don't exchange Christmas cards
Cats don't care if there's life on Mars
Cats don't sleep on pillows and beds
Cats don't follow the Grateful Dead
Cats don't wield big hand guns
Cats don't talk on telephones
Cats don't go to football games
Cats don't erect Halls of Fame
Cats don't drink wine and beer
Cats don't put on sexy underwear
Cats don't frequent movie theatres
Cats don't wear jewlery on their ears
Cats don't need to use rest rooms
Cats don't plan weddings in June
Cats don't vote for presidents
Cats don't give up stuff for Lent
Cats don't save Polaroids
Cats don't complain about hemorrhoids
Cats don't present Emmy awards
Cats don't need pimps and whores
Cats don't use salad forks
Cats don't watch Mindy and Mork
Cats don't vie for bowling trophies
Cats don't drink espresso coffees
Cats don't wear suits and ties
Cats don't read TV Guide
Cats don't go to psychiatrists
Cats don't make "TO DO" lists
Cats don't ask for each other's autographs
Cats don't need a beeper and fax
Cats do not exchange hugs
Cats do not need silly back rubs
Cats don't need to be taken for walks
Cats crap politely into a box
Cats don't eat off of fine China
Cats don't need pictures of vaginas

Cats don't need much.


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