IckyJoey's Tribute to the Idiot Box

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  1. TV
  2. Filmz
  3. Vegas Filmz
  4. Catch Phrazez
  5. Quotez
  6. Edited for TV
  7. Linkz

Home Plate

TV Hall of Fame


Beavis and Butthead
The Simpsons (link to related page)
Cartoon Town/Gigglesnort Hotel (link to related page) (Zonny's memories)
Family Guy (link to related page)
The Itchy and Scratchy Show (link to related page)
Tippy Turtle
The Completely Mental Misadventures of Ed Grimley (link to related page)
Pee Wee's Playhouse
The Tick
H.R. Pufnstuf
The Ed Grimley Show

Peopled Shows

Green Acres (link to related page)
Get Smart (link to related page)
The Young Ones (link to related page) (another related page)
Bottom - Rik and Ade from the Young Ones do a show that often seems a surreal take on Stooges
Seinfeld (No link provided. You can sift through the skrillion sites yerself, jerky.)
Melrose Place (link to related page)
Kolchak the Nightstalker (link to related page)
Twin Peaks (link to related page)
Get A Life (link to related page)
The Gong Show
Vengeance Unlimited
Rockford Files (link to related page)
Moonlighting (link to related page)
The White Shadow
Fawlty Towers
All in the Family
Bob Newhart Show
Larry Sanders Show
Alexei Sayle's Stuff

Favorite Filmz


Being John Malkovich
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Blue Velvet
Crazy Love
Desire and Hell at Sunset Motel
Edie in Ciao! Manhattan
Eraserhead (link to related page)
Even Hitler Had a Girlfriend
Evil Dead II
Glen or Glenda
The Hitler Tapes
Henry Fool
Man Bites Dog
Naked Lunch
The Ruling Class
Street Trash
Welcome to the Dollhouse


Barfly ***** (link to related page)
Breakfast at Tiffany's
Burnzy's Last Call
California Split
The Fourth Man
Shakes the Clown ***** (link to related page)
The Swimmer
Tales of Ordinary Madness
Tough Guys Don't Dance
Under the Volcano
The Verdict
Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

Luis Bunuel

Un Chien Andalou
The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie
Exterminating Angel *****
The Phantom of Liberty
That Obscure Object of Desire

Alex Cox

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Repo Man ***** (link to related page)
Sid and Nancy
Three Businessmen
The Winner

Stanley Kubrick (link to related page)

A Clockwork Orange
Dr. Strangelove
Full Metal Jacket
The Shining

John Waters

Desperate Living
Female Trouble
Pink Flamingos ***** (heartwarming story)
Polyester *****
Serial Mom
Cry Baby


American Movie
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
The Charles Bukowski Tapes (link to related page)
Ed Wood *****
I Shot Andy Warhol
Raging Bull

Rock Flicks

American Hardcore
Betty Blowtorch and her Adventures
Devil and Daniel Johnston *****
Bob Dylan: No Direction Home
Gimme Shelter *****
Half Japanese: The Band That Would Be King
Hated: G.G. Allin and the Murder Junkies
Love: Forever Changes Concert
New York Doll
Nico Icon
Gram Parsons: Fallen Angel
Plaster Caster
Iggy Pop: Live in San Francisco
Lou Reed: Rock and Roll Heart
Sex Pistols: Great Rock and Roll Swindle
This is Spinal Tap
Townes Van Zandt: Be Here To Love Me
Who: The Kids are Alright
Wilco: I Am Trying to Break Your Heart


Austin Powers
Back to School
Best in Show
The Big Picture
Billy Madison
Blazing Saddles
Defending Your Life
Dumb and Dumber
Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Guest Hotel Paradiso
The Jerk *****
The Lonely Guy
Lost In America
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Monty Python's Meaning of Life
My Breakfast with Blassie (link to related page)
Naked Gun
Night Shift
Nutty Professor
The Producers *****
Raising Arizona
Slap Shot
There's Something About Mary
To Be Or Not To Be
Young Frankenstein
Waiting for Guffman


A Christmas Story *****
How the Grinch Stole Christmas
It's A Wonderful Life
Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Film Noir

The Big Sleep
Five Minutes to Live (starring Johnny Cash!)
L.A. Confidential
Maltese Falcon
Miami Blues
Murder, My Sweet
Woman Chaser *****


Apocalypse Now
Army of Darkness
Big Lebowski
Easy Rider
Ghost World
Glengarry Glen Ross *****
Human Stain
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Pulp Fiction
Reservoir Dogs
Sling Blade
True Romance
Wonder Boys
Wrestler *****

10 Best Vegas Films

Catch Phrazez


Bluto / Animal House
My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.
Bluto / Animal House
Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!
Dean Wormer / Animal House
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
Thornton Melon / Back to School
Bring us a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until someone passes out. Then bring one every ten.
Henry / Barfly
I just thought we had a little something going. I guess it was just green corn.
Henry / Barfly
Hatred: the only thing that lasts.
Henry and Tully / Barfly
Tully: Why don't you stop drinking? Anybody can be a drunk.
Henry: Anybody can be a non-drunk. It takes special talent to be a drunk.
Henry and Wanda / Barfly
Wanda: I can't stand people, I hate them. Do you hate them?
Henry: No, but I seem to feel better when they're not around.
Beavis / Beavis and Butthed
I hate stuff that sucks.
Butthead / Beavis and Butthed
Careers suck. They make you work and stuff.
Principal / Billy Madison
Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Ty and Judge Smails / Caddyshack
Smails: You know, you should play with Dr. Beeper and myself. Why, he's been club champion for three years running and I'm no slouch myself.
Ty: Don't sell yourself short judge, you're a tremendous slouch.
Charlie Walters / California Split
Put that guy in a horrorshow!
Woody and Norm / Cheers
Woody: Hey, Mr. Peterson, Jack Frost nipping at your nose?
Norm: Yep, now let's get Joe Beer nipping at my liver.
Woody and Norm / Cheers
Woody: Hey, Mr. Peterson, what do you say to a cold one?
Norm: See you later, Vera, I'll be at Cheers.
Sam and Norm / Cheers
Sam: How's it going, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: It's a dog eat dog world, Sammy, and I'm wearing Milk-Bone underwear!
Norm / Cheers
Women. Can't live with 'em, pass the beer nuts.
Effeminate kid with goggles / A Christmas Story
I like the Wizard of Oz...I like the Tin Man
Muffy / Desperate Living
I'm so hungry I could eat cancer.
Lloyd Christmas / Dumb and Dumber
I can't believe it! We've got no food, we've got no water and our pet's heads are falling off!
Harry Dunne (after Lloyd trades the van for a moped) / Dumb and Dumber
Just when I thought you couldn't do anything dumber, you do something like this... and completely redeem yourself!
Ed Wood / Ed Wood
Didn't you ever hear of suspension of disbelief?
Chris and Gus / Get A Life
Chris: Gus, it was horrible. I was in a bar. Ow oh. And they got mad. And I got hit. And there were fists and there were wigs. And.....I think those....jacks are giving me indigestion.
Gus: They made you eat jacks?
Chris: No....but they're in me.
Ray: Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here.
Walter Peck: They caused an explosion!
Mayor: Is this true?
Peter: Yes, it's true. This man has no dick.
Grandma and Nurse / Happy Gilmore
Grandma: Could I trouble you for a glass of warm milk? It helps me get to sleep.
Nurse: You could trouble me for a warm glass of shut the hell up!
Shooter and Happy / Happy Gilmore
Shooter: I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.
Happy: You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
Shooter: ...no...
David Howard, to ad man who pitched a jingle / Lost in America
Your song stunk, I hate your suit, and I can hurt you.
David Howard, to wife who lost the entire nest egg in Las Vegas / Lost in America
Don't use that word. It's off-limits to you. Only those in this house that understand "nest egg" may use it. And don't use any part of it either. Don't use "nest. Don't use "egg". If you're out in the forest, you can point and say "that bird lives in a round stick". And, for breakfast, you eat "things" over easy with toast.
Dr. Boris Gregor / Jailbait
You know, I had to perform a very difficult operation this morning... the victim of an automobile accident. You know that I had to remodel that patient's entire face? And it was strenuous and very, very complicated! Plastic surgery at times seems to me to be very, very complicated.
Dr. Hrfrfruhr / The Man With Two Brains
Into the mud, scum queen!
Teddy / Memento
It's beer o'clock, and I'm buying.
Bill / Night Shift
Wait a minute! Why don't they just mix the mayonnaise with the tuna in the can... HOLD THE PHONE! Why don't they just FEED the tuna fish mayonnaise! [speaks into tape recorder] Call Starkist!
Leonard / Night Shift
Oh that Barney Rubble. What an actor!
Globey / Pee Wee's Playhouse
Pee Wee! You're spinning my head too fast!
Quick Change
Cop1: Can you isolate that beep? It could be a horn.
Cop2: Sometimes clowns carry horns, don't they? Little rubber ones?
Cop3: Sometimes their noses are horns.
Bud / Repo Man
Ordinary people, I f!@#ing hate 'em.
Bud / Repo Man
I don't want no commies in my car. And no Christians either!
Bud / Repo Man
I'd rather die on my feet than live on my knees.
Debbi and Duke / Repo Man
Debbi: Let's go do those crimes.
Duke: Yeah, let's get sushi and not pay.
J Frank / Repo Man
Radiation. Yes indeed. You hear the most outrageous lies about it. Half-baked goggle-box do-gooders telling everyone its bad for you. Pernicious nonsense! Everyone can stand a hundred chest x-rays a year. They oughta have 'em too.
Miller / Repo Man
Suppose you're thinking about a plate of shrimp. Suddenly somebody'll say "plate" or "shrimp" or "plate of shrimp" --out of the blue. No explanation. No point in looking for one either. It's all part of a cosmic unconsciousness.
Miller / Repo Man
The more you drive the less intelligent you are.
Otto's Mom / Repo Man
Put it on a plate, son. You'll enjoy it more.
Plettschner / Repo Man
I'm Plettschner. Arnold Plettschner. Three times decorated in two world wars. I was killing people when you were still swimming around in your father's balls, you little scumbag. So never say "F!@# you" to me. Because you haven't earned the right yet.
Mr. Blonde / Reservoir Dogs
Are you gonna bark all day little doggie or are you gonna bite?
George / Seinfeld
The sea was angry that day my friends, like an old man trying to return soup at a deli.
Puddy / Seinfeld
It feels like an Arby's night
Shakes / Shakes the Clown
Look kid. You're a loser. Your parents had to pay grown men to come and play with you today, because kids collectively, on a whole, think you suck.
Shakes / Shakes the Clown
(A) I'm not your pal. (B) If you ever, EVER speak to me again, I'll twist your head into a f!@#ing balloon animal.
Krusty the Clown / The Simpsons
Would it really be worth living in a world without television? I think the survivors would envy the dead.
Homer / The Simpsons
Homer, solemnly addressing a spilt beer: "You never had a chance to become my urine."
Detective Robert Thorn / Soylent Green
Soylent Green is people
Russell Ziskey / Stripes
We're not homosexual but we're willing to learn.
John Winger / Stripes
Convicted? No, never convicted.
Ox / Stripes
I went to this doctor. He told me I swallow a lot of aggression .. along with a lot of pizzas.
Randy and Tommy / Valley Girl
Tommy: Is this movie in 3-D?
Randy: No, but your face is!
Randy / Valley Girl
Well Peter-Piper-picked-a-pepper I guess I did!
Bozey Spool / Wild At Heart
My dog barks some. Mentally you picture my dog, but I have not told you the type of dog which I have. Perhaps you even picture Toto, from "The Wizard of Oz." But I warn you, my dog is always with me. WOOF!
Rick / Young Ones
Hands up: Who likes me?
Vyvyan, referring Rick's name tag "pRick"/ Young Ones
The "P" is silent, of course.
Rick / Young Ones
There's nothing poofy about a man wanting to love his fellow man -- only when they start touching each others' bottoms
Vyvyan and Mike / Young Ones
Vyvyan: What's a good thing for a hangover?
Mike: Drinking heavily the night before.
Vyvyan and Rick, playing Monopoly / Young Ones
Rick: Wouldn't it be amazing if all this Monopoly money was real?
Vyvyan: Rick, that is the single most predictable and boring thing that anyone could ever say whilst playing Monopoly.

Edited for TV

This web site instructs you to run away screaming from edited-for-TV movies. However, there are a few exceptions to the almost inviolate "Pry open your wallet and rent it for 2 bux, penny squeezer" rule. Check out the following movies when their bludgeoned-for-TV versions are playing on network or UHF TV:

Watch CADDYSHACK for the infamous-due-to-silly-editing scene where Rodney exclaims: "Hey! Let's all take a shower!" instead of...well, you know.

Watch REPO MAN for the following quotes:

Watch REPO MAN for the following extras:

Watch REPO MAN and ponder the following headscratchers:

Linkz to the best TV and movie pagez

IMDb: Everything you need to know about movies and TV shows

All Movie Guide: more gud movie reading

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